I often feel like a bad mother.
Now I know that these days it's not so uncommon for a woman to admit to those feelings but knowing that it's not such a taboo subject as it once was doesn't make me any less guilty over feeling that way.
I don't feel I'm a bad mother because I don't make enough time for my son, or because I don't feel I love him enough. I've never experienced a moment, however fleeting, of confusion about his role in my life or why I was put here.
I was meant to mother THIS child. I am more sure of that than I have ever been about anything in my life. But as sure as I am that Robbie was meant to be mine...I'm equally convinced that this kid is getting a raw deal.
Is it wrong to wish that he be spared the realities of a mother who's ill?
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no. not at all. i think it's really great that you are blogging about this. much love to you
ReplyDeleteno, it is not at all.....but just as you were put on this earth to be HIS mother and take care of him, he was equally put here to play an important role in YOUR life.
ReplyDeletea raw deal would be a kid who had NO parents, or parents who abused him and/or neglected him.
You do NONE of that. So, we can always find a "better" parent somewhere, but truth is, you are the ONLY one he wants.